As you can probably guess, Kylie's passing has been absolutely devastating. It was sudden and unexpected and has been so incredibly hard to wrap my head around. I've been more absent on the customer-facing front than normal as I've struggled to find my purpose in a world without Kylie. I just wanted to take some time to talk about what's going on behind the scenes here at Kylie & Me HQ.
Navigating a World of Grief
Kylie was the reason for this little business and influenced every stitch. Being the most fashionable houndie in every room she entered lent well to her natural spunk and sparkle and absolute desire to be the center of attention. She and I took countless "business trips" to JoAnn to pick out the hippest fabrics of the season, she laid on every project I had spread out on the floor ready to cut, and she snoofered every package that went off to the post office. She truly was with me at every step and her lively spirit infused every aspect of the brand we created.
Kylie's loss has left a void that's difficult to put into words. My sewing machine doesn't call to me like it did when she was here, the aisles of JoAnn are dull and uninspiring, and the hottest new houndie fashion trends seem irrelevant and uninteresting. Kylie was the magic that made all of it come to life.
I'm sure you can relate in some way to the heartache that comes with saying goodbye to your favorite face. The truth is, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions with moments of deep sadness, confusion, and denial. I've worried that Kylie's magic was what made me special and struggled to find my purpose without her. Maybe with time I can uncover what makes me magic on my own.
Exploring Creativity in New Ways
It's lonely to sew without Kylie in her corner supervising every line of stitches. So I've been avoiding my sewing machine, honestly. But creative endeavors are what keep me sane, especially in these moments of grief. I've taken a break from sewing adventures outside of orders and shifted my creative focus for right now. I've designed a graphic tee, worked to develop fun new leashes, created some new magnet sets, and made about a bajillion bows (that's the official count, yes) in an effort to stay busy without my sewing machine.
But there's one special project I'm very proud of. Cue the drumroll...I've created a coloring book full of Kylie and her friends on their silly houndie adventures. It's been a lighthearted way to honor Kylie, to keep her in the center of what I'm doing here, and to continue to share her with the world. We've sent the first prototype off to print and should have them available on our website within the next month. I'm excited for you to see it!
A New Adventure Awaits
I know this is a topic that lots of people wonder about after a loss. When's the right time for the next houndie adventure? If you're looking for an answer, you've come to the wrong place--I don't have one. But my husband misses having a "longgorl" around. I do too, honestly.
We've started to talk about adopting a new greyhound. We don't have our eyes set on anyone in particular--I know the right houndie will come to us just like Kylie did. But Kylie and I fostered a lot of houndies after they retired and I know one thing for sure: she loved the red boys. So I'm secretly hoping it'll be a red boy for Kylie.
It won't happen now. I still need some time--it's a lot to come to terms with. But I'm beginning to wrap my head around the idea of living with a houndie who's not Kylie. How does that feel? What does that look like? I don't have answers to those questions right now, but I do know that my love for houndies doesn't end with Kylie. She made them look way too cool for that.
Thanks for Being Awesome
It's been rough these last months. Thanks for bearing with me through it. Your patience, understanding, and kind words have meant a lot during this heartbreaking time. I see every Instagram comment, order note, and message. Loss can feel really isolating and those little gestures make it feel a bit less so. Thank you.
In this crazy journey of life, there are bound to be some heartbreaks and challenges. Kylie knew that (re: her missing leg) and helped me recognize it every single day of our life together. Now I just have to remember it on my own.
Kylie's absence is definitely felt every time I step into this room that houses the little business we built together, but her spunky spirit continues to guide me through the healing process. I'm slowly rediscovering my purpose, one silly houndie-filled project at a time and can't wait to share some new creations with you in the next few months. And maybe get back to sewing for fun too. Thanks for being here and being awesome.